中老年人的十誡

是朋友傳來的。

我在網上搜索一下來源，發覺在幾個英文網誌都出現過，不過有一個是說「40-~50歲人的的十誡」，另一個是說「60歲人的的十誡」，可能網主以所處的文化背景有所調整了。

其實沒大關係，就概括點說「中老年人」吧。原文如下，括號內藍色的中文是我的感想：

1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.(年紀越大，對物質是欲望應該更淡薄，孔子說的：「及其老也，血氣既衰，戒之在得」很有道理。)
2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving anything, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.(筆者有個世伯，七十歲才移民來澳洲退休，兩個兒子都大學畢業自立，帶著200多萬澳幣現金，本來已是無憂無慮。他平時花錢都精打細算，有次還向我埋怨銀行利率太低，利息收入不理想，擔心要吃老本。想不到過了幾年，太太和一個兒子先他而去，現在錢再多又有何用？)
3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.(老人愛聚談往事，越談越消沉。都幾十年了，還在講反右、文革時的經歷，看「傷痕文學」寫感想。我當澳洲的中文報刊編輯的時候，這類的投稿多不勝數。能積極把握現在、學新事物、常常問「我們今天做甚麼好？」的人，肯定比較可愛和開心。)
4. Enjoy your grandchildren but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own offsprings.(老人愛孫心切，但管教方法常常和兒女有矛盾，兒女勉強順著老人的一套，孫兒也嫌煩。)
5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the aging process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.(老人走在一塊時，常有的話題就是這裡不舒服，那裡不舒服，比較食療、處方和醫生的優劣。年紀大，機器壞，一輛10年的舊車，總不能要求它跑得像新車一樣的爽吧？小小不舒服便看醫生，想把它馬上治好，沒可能；整天疑神疑鬼地談病，一定越來越多病。)
6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you don't have them, it's probably too late.(滿足於已經做過的事和現在擁有的東西，也是上面「戒之在得」的道理，人會開心一點。)
7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.(「老友」、「老伴」，最重要。)
8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.(人年紀越大，寬容度Comfort Zone越窄，稍不如意便會生氣。香港傳出過幾宗老人院內老人積怨，卒之斬死人然後跳樓自殺的新聞。正是時日無多了，閻王不請自己去，何苦呢。)
9. Befriend death. It’s a natural part of the life cycle. Don’t be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty. (想得通的，不怕死，最好。想不通的，信宗教是令疑者心安的方法。張五常引述過一位科學家說過，有一點主意，無論是多壞的主意，總比全無主意的好。)
10. Be at peace with your Creator. For … He is all you have after you leave this life. (神之有無，幽微難知；但是如果信有，的確可以幫人解除壓力。我不信教，只抗拒有人向我硬銷傳教，但從不反對別人信。)