2014年4月15日 星期二

禮多人會怪

圖片來源
使用任何的語言,中文也好,英文也好,很重要的是恰到好處:針對當前的場合、語境和傳達的對象,使用適當的文字風格,包括句式和選字。

我在一家中餐館吃飯時,發覺他們的汽水櫃上貼了一張英文告示:

Please kindly do us a favour by notifying us what drink you would like to have. Thank you!  :)


店家貼這張告示,目的很明顯,是顧客要甚麼飲品時,請他們叫侍應「落Order」,不要像一般快餐店、Takeaway店的在取食物前自己開門伸手去抓,然後一併在櫃面計數埋單....


這段英文,文法上沒有甚麼大錯,那個 :) 是網絡文,也算了。不過看來看去,就總是有點不大對勁....

是文字的 style 有點怪,很客氣,又太客氣,「溫馨提示」得來,又好像太假和冷冰冰;有些選字太formal,句子又迂迴。

如果是你,會怎樣改寫?


(文章允許轉貼,請具作者名字:梁煥松)


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41 則留言:

  1. Please tell us what you'd like for drink.

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  2. Please kindly let us know if you need to order a drink.

    Rosemary

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  3. Give us a shout if you need a drink, thanks.

    Rosemary

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    1. 文化不同,澳洲英文Give a shout是「大家order飲品、我付錢」。

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    2. 我原本以為Rosemary的說法不錯,好險! 又學野, 謝謝。
      Dash

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  4. Pls tell us what drink you want

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  5. 這句"溫馨提示"的文筆風格似是香港公務員的手筆

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  6. Raymond上午9:45

    餐館東主來了澳洲多久。看行文,極似香港1997年7月1日前公務員寫的英文!

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    1. 或是請識英文的客人代筆的。

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  7. Raymond上午9:47

    倘用廣東話寫:飲乜開聲!

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    1. 香港茶餐廳會寫「請勿自取,面斥不雅」。

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  8. Please order your drink from the server. ( Optional :Thank you for your co-operation. ) - Canadian style

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  9. 「請勿自取,面斥不雅」,好正。

    如網友所言,句英文好「港式」,try to be polite,但比人感覺剛剛相反。潛台詞好明顯:「好心你班友,唔好成日自己攞飲品喇。」

    個人認為,啲港式開場白,please 乜 please 物,其實好硬、好 formal,唔係咁好。個人建議「We are ready to take your drink order」。Chris 大師有何建議。

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    1. We are ready to take your drink order 好正!礼貌的来又有服务意识

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    2. 何敢妄稱大師,大家研究下吧了。
      請留意明日拙文。

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  10. Please let's know what you would like to drink, thanks.

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  11. Pls let's us know when you're ready to order a drink, thanks.

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  12. Dear customers, we would like to keep an accurate inventory record, you may help by telling us your consumption. Thanks!

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  13. Let us know if you want to have a drink.

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  14. Staff access only !

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  15. "Please let us know what you'd like to have. Thanks."

    In oz, "Drinks" normally mean alcoholic drinks (wines, etc.), not soft drinks.
    When the waiter asks "Would you like to have any drinks?" They are asking what wines do you want, not tea/coffee/coke. Hence, "No, thanks. I'll have Coke please."

    The 'drink' here is obviously used in the chinglish sense.

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  16. Don't touch.
    Please ask.

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  17. 橫掂都係,不如 chinglish 到底 - No self take ,will scold in your face 。

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    1. 讚! 再試譯:
      No ask no take, scold face not pretty!

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    2. Very 骨,分分鐘好似「long time no see」咁,成為主流英語,連 Oxford Dictionary 都收錄。

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Time_No_See

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  18. 係香港經常見到 Please kindly / Kindly please...
    但查字典話 kindly = please,仲要多數係唔耐煩先用 kindly,不知博主有無意見?

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    1. 二者只用其一即可。
      明日我詳細解釋語意上的分別,大致上閣下的理解正確。

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    2. 期待博主鴻文。

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  19. simply what you want, man!!!!!!

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  20. Please let us know if you would like to have a beverage, we are happy to get it for you.
    ==F*** off! Don't touch the damn soda fridge!! You're ruining the door! I'm tired of you guys making a mess....

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    1. 你咪話,人都是有點被虐狂的,顧客見到條咁串嘅告示,會覺得好笑,欣然接受。

      反而見到條死唔斷氣,又暗串嘅官樣告示,顧客啲反叛心理會出哂嚟,係都要同你鬥氣。

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  21. 「Sexual harassment is a crime」

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  22. Just to share :

    1. Some of the most commonly seen instructions at restaurants.
    a. No Self Service ;
    b. Please ring for service ; (if the restaurant provides press bell / those electronic gadgets).
    b. Please order your drinks through watiers / servers ;
    c. Please order your drinks (up) at the counter ;
    d. Please place your order when ready *.
    * It means when the customers are ready and make up their mind, not servers.

    2. A Drink(s) / Beverage(s) List or Menu may cover both alcoholic / non-alcoholic drinks. '
    There could be a separate Wine List for Red / White wine / Port etc.
    And drinks may refer to non-alcohlic items too, eg hot drinks could mean tea / coffee etc.
    Will wait for Mr Leung to explain to us the usage of this word in oz.

    3. IMHO, the writing style is quite unlikely from any civil servants of the pre-97 era.
    Hardly saw them start a sentence with " Please kindly do us a favour by ... ".
    HKG used to provide solid training in writing skills for its staff (minutes / reports / letters...). :)

    T

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  23. 那告示給我感覺是..........由於屢勸不聽, 客人繼續自取自飲, 餐館忍無可忍,又唔可以鬧那些客人,唯有用過份客氣的說話再去提醒人,以示下滿。 「貴客自重, 敬請勿............, 多謝合作。」等, 都係指事件時常發生,無計可施, 意氣之下寫出。

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  24. 是Setup的問題, 似乎是自找麻煩! 好似大多數外賣店如KFC吟, 將飲品櫃放在Counter後面, 一粒字都慳番.

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  25. Dear customers, please no hesitate tell us what you would like for drink。

    正如有人指出 please 已系含有 kindly 的意思。 而且kindly 在此是指顧客,意指顧客首先不kindly 了。此寫法不妥! 不要說句子多餘的字彙和太“formal ”的詞彙。

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  26. 最怕部份香港人唔識daily English, 開口埋口就 may i ask that .......... 直譯廣東話我可唔可以問下你,既唔岩文法,聽落亦非常港式英文.

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    1. 英國人也會說May I ask,不過有時是放在問題之末, "..........., may I ask?"
      這倒不是禮貌的問你,而是故意冷冰冰、拉遠距離、不大友善地,要你一定答,等於我們說 「......,而家我問你呀!」

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    2. May i 同 may I, 都有唔同 implication.

      講幾多同 get 到幾多係兩回事,唔係地道英國人,無得一箱情願。
      question tag - You go to school, don't you?
      唔係有 兩種可能性答案,一個自認英文差中文又差既人認為...多過4 種。

      一箱情願 -- 有d 似周星馳電影,朱八怪對沙凈講,本來我武功高師兄dd,不過同埋你一齊打師兄,咁師兄又高翻我哋dd。

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  27. 以前E-mail書信上會用"Please kindly",
    但看過了以下文章, 就不敢再用"Kindly"了......................

    http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/supplement/columnist/2459936/art/20120505/16308247

    http://corecorner.pixnet.net/blog/post/20019408-%E8%83%BD%E7%94%A8please%E5%B0%B1%E4%B8%8D%E7%94%A8kindly

    忘記從哪裡看到, 其實"老外"對"Please"的感覺, 並不像港澳中眼中的"文縐縐".
    其實只係個普通的禮貌詞, 不至於很"嚴重"(當然也要看詞景吧. )

    但再上咩"kindly"就....................

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