大學學生會聲明的英文(續)

(續前文)現在就分析一下引述的文字，講講我的意見。

正如網友秋盈的留言：

「這明顯是以中文思維寫成的英文，是Chinglish。」

更大的問題是，是受了現代惡劣譯文影響的中文思維 。

1. Recently there has been news articles  pointing out that our school's Social Science Associate Professor Dixon Ming Sing used his identity as a professor in interfering with sensitive political and social issues. 

2. Accusations has also described Professor Sing as an extremely professional politician that has crossed the line with regards of professional conduct as an educator, and misleading students. 

3.The Students' Union expresses deep frustration and strong condemnation regarding this, demanding the accusing author to apologise.

明顯的文法錯誤

1. 既然是 news articles 的名詞眾數，不應用 has been 的單數動詞語態。聲名是針對劉夢熊一篇文章，段落之末不是也說單數的 the accusing author 嗎？

2. accusations的名詞眾數，也不應用 has also described 的單數動詞語態。  

用詞不當

如果文字之目的是「傳情達意」的，我認為全段文字是可以說是合格的(除了 extremely 這個錯字，下面再談)。主要問題是，文章看起來怪怪的，不大符合常用英文的風格。

news articles---通常是指報紙自家記者的「新聞特寫」。

school---為甚麼不說university 而說school呢？雖然有些大學的個別學院會叫甚麼例如 School of Eduaction, School of Architecture, 倫敦大學也有一家出名的學院--London School of Economics(LSE)，但是一般是不會用school 來指一間「大學」的。

identity---用position好一點，雖然中文版是「用....的身份」。「用」字翻成英文不寫 use 而寫  abuse，文氣就對了。某某人abuse his position / authority，英文是這樣寫的。

Accusations has also described---- 這個寫法很累贅，說 The writer accused Professor Sing....或 There were accusations that Professor Sing that...會更簡潔。


extremely professional politician----劉夢熊的文章是說「極端職業政客」，意思是 「思想極端」的職業政客，學生會聲明的 "extremely professional" politician 是「極之專業」的政客，可謂差之毫釐、謬之千里。應該是 was an extremist and a professional politician。


has crossed the line with regards of   professional conduct ---說得太累贅了，現在很多人偷懶，甚麼前置詞如 on , with, at 等等，都以 regarding, in regards to, with regards of 代替，還洋洋得意，以為是很「專業」的英文。其實這一大串字，用 has violated his professional conduct 就可以了。

expresses deep frustration and strong condemnation regarding this----另一個直話曲說的例子。原文是「深感憤怒及表示強烈譴責」，「憤怒」是outrage或anger，frustration 不足以表達這個強烈意思，而正如中文版，frustration通常是feel 的，不是express的。

accusing author --- 雖然讀者明白你的意思，但是 accusing author 的說法總有點怪誕。簡單的說 the writer of the article ，或 the writer making such accusations against professor Sing就可以了。

正如前文有個網友留言，學生要反駁人家指名道姓對成教授的污衊，最後要求對方道歉，為甚麼還閃閃縮縮，要作「不記名」批評，沒有道出報章和那個作者的名字呢？
 

 (文章允許轉貼，請具作者名字：梁煥松)