笑話：神父退休

(中譯：Chris)

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.神父在堂區服務了25年，大家為他舉行退休晚宴。

A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.本地有個風頭政客，也是堂區的教友，大家就特別請他致送紀念品和講幾句話。

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited, 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.不過當晚他有事遲到，神父就在等候時先行講話了：「從我在這裡聽到的第一個告解得來的印象，我還以為自己來了一個糟透的地方。

The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. 來向我告解的第一個人說，他偷了一個電視機，給警察逮住了，多虧他能言善道脫了身。

He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. 他偷父母的錢，又虧空公款；他與上司的太太有染，吸食毒品，還傳染性病給自己的姊妹；真是卑鄙無恥。

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'  但是接著下來，我發覺我的教友並非全是像他的壞-----其實我來這個堂區，裡面大多是可愛的好人。」

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of  apologies at being late. 神父剛講完，政客匆匆趕到，滿口道歉說他來晚了。

He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk, 'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 他馬上代表大家送上紀念品，並且開腔說：「我永不會忘記神父抵達本堂區那一天。

'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'真的，能夠做第一個向他告解的教友，本人深感榮幸。」

Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late 這個故事教訓我們：千萬千萬不要遲到啊。