(純屬搞笑,不可當真)
Several centuries ago, as Easter was quickly approaching, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.
多個世紀之前的某年,復活節臨近之時, 教皇宣佈所有意大利境內的猶太人都要改信天主教,不然就要離開。
There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.
猶太社區大譁,教皇乃開出條件。
He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the Pope won, they would have to leave or convert.
教皇會與猶太社區的領袖作宗教辯論,假如猶太人贏了,他們可以留下;假如教皇贏了,他們就要離境或改信天主教。
The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise, Rabbi Moshe to represent them in the debate. However, as Moshe spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.
猶太社區開會,推舉出一位德高望重的老教長 Moshe 作為代表。由於Moshe不懂意大利語,教皇也不懂猶太語,大家同意實行「無聲」辯論。
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moshe sat opposite each other.
日子到了,教皇與Moshe教長面對面的坐下來。
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
教皇舉起一隻手,豎起三隻手指。
Rabbi Moshe looked back and raised one finger.
Moshe教長回望,豎起一隻手指。
Next ... The Pope waved his finger around his head.
然後...教皇將手指圍著頭來轉動。
Rabbi Moshe pointed to the ground where he sat.
Moshe教長用手指,指向自己面前的土地。
The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
教皇出示領聖體用的餅,還有一杯聖酒。
Rabbi Moshe pulled out an apple.
Moshe教長拿出一個蘋果。
With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten . That Rabbi Moshe was too clever and that the Jews could stay in Italy.
至此,教皇起立認輸,承認Moshe教長的確有智慧,猶太人可以繼續在意大利生活。
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Later, the Cardinals met the Pope, asking what had happened.
稍後,樞機主教團和教皇會面,問起當時的情況。
The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.
教皇說:我首先舉起三隻手指,表示相信三位一體的天主,他就舉起一隻手指提醒大家相信的是同一個神。
Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us.
然後我把手在頭上打圈,說明天主在我們上面。
He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.
他指向地下,表示神正在我們中間。
I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God forgives us all our sins.
我拿出聖體和聖酒,表示天主可以赦免我們的罪。
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.
他拿出一個蘋果,提醒我人類有原罪。
He had me beaten at my every move and I could not continue.
他處處反佔上風,我無以為繼了。
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Meanwhile .. The Jewish community was gathered around Rabbi Moshe.
與此同時,猶太人圍著Moshe教長問長問短。
"How did You win the debate?" they asked.
「您是怎樣贏他的?」
"I haven't a clue," said Moshe. "First he said to me that we had three days to Get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger!
教長說:我也不知道。首先他限我們三天內要走,我就用一個侮辱的手勢回應。
Then he told me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him we're staying right here."
然後他說整個國家都不要我們,我就說我們在這裡死也不走。
"And then what?" asked a woman.
「跟著呢?」有個猶太婦女問。
"Who knows? " said Moshe, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."
「鬼知道!」教長說:「他拿出午餐來吃,我也拿出我的午餐囉。」
(中譯:Chris)
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